Astrologers can never go wrong! - Part 1

I admire the writers of astrology columns. Piling up so much of bovine excrement on a daily/weekly/monthly basis is not easy. Give it a try yourself, if you think writing a few pages every day is easy. I am referring to writing sensible stuff, of course.

Many a time when I tell people whom I meet that I am interested in astronomy, they think I am a fortune teller. Not just ordinary village folk but even educated and otherwise seemingly rational looking people. The trouble is, astrologers are better known than astronomers. Every (well, almost) newspapers carries a page dedicated to (wasted on?) a column by an astrologer. TV channels have regular “shows” where in astrologers enlighten the masses on how the Sun, the Moon and the Planets – including a couple of imaginary planets of course, influence our lives. You get advice on how to ward off their ill effects. It is a well oiled machinery, supported by the media playing to the masses, never mind the fact that there is no clear evidence that it works. After all, when it comes to faith, all that matters is what you believe. You don’t need to prove anything. In fact, the more bizarre the claim, the better it is.

 

Well, if astrology does not work, why do so many people believe in it? Are scientists just plain wrong when they say astrology has no strong foundations?

Before we answer that question, let us look at some samples of the so called the astrological predictions. I picked up the following one from today’s Bangalore Mirror for “Cancer”.

Conserve your time and energy and focus on things that you can get done by yourself. Planning something special for your partner will enhance your love life. If a home improvement project is on the anvil, set a budget to ensure that you don’t go overboard

I read it twice to see what the prediction is and failed to see it. To my simpleton English understanding it just looked like a piece of advise which anyone could have written rather than a prediction! But if you are believer, you will twist those words, read between the lines and find something that is at least remotely connected to your own life and say that the prediction was right!

How do different predictions match up? Since I wanted to write this blog today, I picked up today’s newspapers at home and looked up. I could have done it on any other day and looked at any other newspapers. It really would not matter.

Here is the prediction for today for Cancer in Times of India:

It could be a difficult day. You may have some trouble accepting responsibilities. There is some nervous tension surrounding you. Don’t go in for any risks. Find new ways to unwind. Mixing with influential people is important for your future.

Here, at least there is some semblance of prediction. “It COULD (emphasis mine) be a difficult day” and “There is some nervous tension surrounding you”.

Well, any day COULD be difficult for anyone. What is difficult is also subjective. Missing the bus and having to catch an auto to reach office could be your definition of a difficult day. Having to face an irritated customer could be it for someone else. Not finding those ten minutes to have a smoke could be it for yet another person. And if you look back, every single day of your life you will find something that could be a candidate to make the day difficult.

Of course, there just could be days which are absolute perfect. Such days may be rare but they do happen. If it was such a day for you and your were a Cancer, what do you do? Thank your stars that the prediction did not come true for you! As for the nervous tension, do you find anyone nowadays who says s(he) has not tension?

Plus there is this important psychological factor one should consider. Humans are by nature remember bad events more than good ones. Bad events, however small they may be will have a lasting effect perhaps thanks to the way we have evolved. If you went to a particular stream to drink water and found a tiger lurching behind a boulder, you have to be careful about that spot in the stream next time. It is basic survival instinct. You can’t afford forget that. On the contrary, if you found a greener pasture on one particular day, you may find another one equally good somewhere else. And of course, the green pasture may not be green all the time. No need to try hard and remember the good things in life. They may be of help to you, yes. But the bad ones could kill you. So you better remember those.

Does astrologers have a large following only in "backward" countries like India? No way. The scene is more or less the same wherever else you go. We Indians have no IP on stupidity.

Looks like writing an astrology column is something where you can never go wrong. After all, no one takes it seriously when it does go wrong. On the contrary, the rare cases where one does get it right are highlighted both by the believers and the astrologers. Well, if you predict a hundred things to a few thousand people you have to get it right sometime. No one can be wrong all the time.

In any case, as I quoted in the examples above, you don’t even need to predict something. You write what you want and the believers will find the ‘right’ meaning out of that. If they interpret it incorrectly, you are not to blame!

Great, isn’t it?

Actually, I envy them. I wish I could find a job as simple and risk free as theirs.

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Well, astrologers counter such arguments with a string of questions. What about the ‘scientific’ stuff that the astrologers use? Science tells us that the Sun keeps its herd of planets, their moons and plenty of other smaller rocks going around it. It does have a gravitational effect that does the trick. It creates tides on our Oceans. If all of that is right, is it not plausible that the Sun could also affect the human beings who live on the Earth? What about the Moon? Moon has a greater impact on the Earth in terms of the tidal forces than does the Sun though it is a much smaller object (Surprised? Well, that is for another blog). Does it not have a right to affect us too? Don’t we all know that two thirds of human body is water? And roughly two thirds of the Earth’s surface is also covered by water! So what the astrologers have been claiming all along has now got a “scientific” confirmation?

The apologists of astrology also keep pointing out that there are so many things that science can’t explain even today. When that is the case, how do they know that a planet like say Mars or Saturn can’t have an effect on human beings? There are so many unknowns in nature; so astrology could well be right? Just because we don’t have a proof today, should we despise it?

Well, I will come back to it in the next blog in this series.